All Episodes

Bri grew up homeschooled in a conservative Christian family before becoming deeply involved with the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), the fundamentalist organization founded by Bill Gothard and closely associated with the Duggar family.
She believed in the teachings enough that, as an adult, she planned to bring IBLP into her own family.
Then she became a mother.
When Bri attempted “blanket training” with her infant son, a practice she says was intended to teach blind obedience, her instinct was to comfort him when he cried. That instinct led to a question that changed everything: Why should comforting her own crying baby be considered breaking the rules?
Bri joins cult.ture to talk about growing up sheltered, homeschooling, the Duggar family's influence, Bill Gothard, IBLP's “umbrella of authority,” gender hierarchy, obedience, parenting, and the process of beginning to question a worldview she once fully believed.
We also explore the anger and discovery that followed as Bri began researching the people and institutions she had been taught to trust, and how she is now raising her own children with more freedom to question, explore, and decide what they believe for themselves.
It's a conversation about control disguised as protection, the moment instinct collided with indoctrination, and what it can mean to break a cycle.
 
Follow Bri here
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.

What happens when a child is taught that the world may end before she ever reaches adulthood?
Gisselle Ayala grew up as a first-generation Latina in a strict Jehovah’s Witness family in Phoenix. From an early age, she was taught that Armageddon was imminent, that life in the present world was temporary, and that pursuing a career or higher education was largely unnecessary.
In this audio-only conversation, Gisselle joins Derek to discuss the isolation of growing up “in the world” but never being allowed to fully participate in it. She reflects on the pressure to maintain appearances, the lack of empathy she witnessed inside the congregation, the suppression of her cultural identity, and the painful consequences of disfellowshipping within her own family.
Gisselle also shares how her desire to attend Bethel unexpectedly led her to community college and how using the research skills she had been taught eventually exposed contradictions she could no longer ignore. After discovering the organization’s handling of child sexual abuse cases and witnessing an elder verbally intimidate her younger brother, she decided that she would never return to another meeting.
Leaving at 19 did not immediately erase the fear, isolation, or pressure. But it gave Gisselle the opportunity to begin creating a future she had never been taught to imagine.
Today, she holds a bachelor’s degree in mass communications, media studies, and journalism and is pursuing a Master of Public Administration and Public Policy at Arizona State University. Her interests in civic engagement, voting access, and public service have become part of the process of reclaiming a voice she once felt forced to silence.
This conversation explores:
• Growing up in a strict Spanish-language Jehovah’s Witness congregation• Cultural identity, representation, and the Gen Z ex-JW experience• Armageddon fear and being raised without a vision for the future• Family instability, disfellowshipping, and conditional belonging• Higher education and the pressure to abandon college• Researching Watchtower teachings and discovering misrepresented sources• The meeting that became Gisselle’s final night in the congregation• Rebuilding family relationships after leaving• Political neutrality, voting, and reclaiming civic participation• Creating a meaningful life beyond a high-control religion
Gisselle’s story is a reminder that leaving is not the end of someone’s life. Sometimes, it is the first opportunity they have had to truly begin it.
Follow Gisselle on Tik Tok: @gisselle.ara
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 
 
 

What happens when your greatest act of resistance is simply becoming yourself?
This week, we sit down with filmmaker Scott Homan, director of the acclaimed documentaryWitness Underground, to explore life growing up as a second-generation Jehovah’s Witness, the underground music scene that became a lifeline, and the long journey of rebuilding identity after leaving a high-control religion.
Scott shares the moment he realized he was living two lives, one dictated by the expectations of the Watchtower and another fueled by creativity, music, and authentic connection. Together, we unpack the psychology of indoctrination, fear, deconstruction, chosen family, and why art often becomes one of the first languages of freedom.
 
In this episode we discuss:
Growing up as a second-generation Jehovah’s Witness
Music as a path toward authenticity and self-discovery
The hidden underground scene of Jehovah’s Witness musicians
Fear, indoctrination, and the psychology of control
The moment Scott recognized he was in a cult
Deconstruction, atheism, and rebuilding a worldview
Friendship, community, and healing after high-control religion
The making of Witness Underground
Whether you’ve experienced religious trauma, left a high-control group, or simply want to better understand how people reclaim their identity after systems of control, this is a conversation about resilience, creativity, and what it means to finally live on your own terms.
 
Learn More About Scott Homan & His Work
Witness UndergroundDocumentary exploring the underground music scene within Jehovah’s Witness culture and the journey of those who found freedom through creativity.https://www.witnessunderground.com/
Watch / Stream Witness UndergroundAvailable through multiple platforms including Apple, Amazon, Tubi, Plex, YouTube Movies, and more.https://www.witnessunderground.com/
Banana Island Filmshttps://www.bananaislandfilms.com
Banana Island Films YouTube Channelhttps://www.youtube.com/@bananaislandfilms
Guidedoc (International Streaming)https://guidedoc.tv/documentary/witness-underground-love-letter-to-the-outcast-documentary-film/
Rotten Tomatoeshttps://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/witness_underground
IMDbhttps://www.imdb.com/title/tt15215562
Follow Scott
Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/scotthoman
Witness Underground Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/witnessunderground
Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/WitnessUnderground
Other Projects 
Hanoi MixtapeA documentary exploring the underground music scene in Hanoi, Vietnam.https://www.hanoimixtape.com/
Music and the Mystical ExperienceDocumentary project exploring music, consciousness, and psychedelic therapy.https://www.sutherlandsounds.com/music-for-psychedelic-therapy
Nuclear GopherNew music from the artists and recording studio covered in Witness Undergroundhttps://www.nucleargopher.com/
Resources Mentioned
For those questioning faith, recovering from religious trauma, or rebuilding after high-control environments:
Recovering From Religionhttps://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/
Secular Therapy Projecthttps://www.seculartherapy.org/
DECULTA documentary and resource project exploring cult recovery and coercive control.https://decult.net/
DECULT: Beyond Belief Documentaryhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZMhsGHTn30
Cults to Consciousnesshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdruRz-kWtIBIzgURq05lzw
If this episode resonates with you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone who may need to hear it. Your support helps us continue creating conversations that explore identity, belief, recovery, and the human experience with honesty and compassion.
 
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 
 
 

In this episode, Derek and Trent sit down with Brittany Hart, writer, poet, and author of Surviving Wonderland: A Journey Beyond Control.
Brittany Hart is an author and poet who writes at the intersection of spiritual trauma and recovery. Her debut collection, Surviving Wonderland: A Journey Beyond Control, transforms her experience in a high-control religious group into art for anyone reclaiming their voice and finding their way back to themselves. She now supports fellow survivors through creative writing, online guides, and spaces of gentle, grounded healing.
Brittany shares her experience inside the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, also known as IHOPKC, and how a high-control religious environment shaped her sense of identity, time, purpose, and faith. What began as a sincere search for God slowly became wrapped in fear, urgency, end-times messaging, intense worship culture, and the belief that rest, normal life, and even questioning could mean spiritual failure.
Through her book, Brittany uses poetry and the imagery of Alice in Wonderland to describe the process of going down the rabbit hole, waking up, and finding language for what happened. This conversation explores spiritual abuse, the power of music and repetition, the grief of lost time, the role of therapy, and what it can look like to rebuild faith in a way that is no longer rooted in fear.
This is a conversation about control, healing, and the courage it takes to come back to yourself.
 
Brittany’s poetry collection, Surviving Wonderland: A Journey Beyond Control, is now available on Amazon
Untangle from end times anxiety with help from Brittany here
Follow Brittany on Instagram
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 

Jeron Benton joins cult.ture to share his journey growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, becoming inactive, returning to the organization after a near-death experience, and ultimately waking up after a shocking judicial committee experience.
In this conversation, Jeron opens up about being disfellowshipped after spending two years trying to return to the faith, the moment he realized the system wasn't what he believed it was, and the bold plan that led him to be reinstated after he had already become an apostate.
We also explore the deeper realities of leaving a high-control religion: losing family, rebuilding identity, navigating grief, finding authentic friendships, and learning to trust yourself after years of being taught not to.
Most importantly, this episode is about healing. Jeron shares what freedom looks like today, the struggles that still remain, and the practices that help him move forward.
Topics include:
• Jehovah's Witness upbringing• Disfellowshipping and shunning• Judicial committees• Family loss after leaving• Cult recovery and deconstruction• Emotional healing and men's mental health• Authenticity and personal freedom• Rebuilding life after a high-control group
Follow Jeron:
YouTube: Jeron BentonInstagram: @jerons_world
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 

In this episode of cult.ture, Derek sits down with author, speaker, and Stop the Shunning creator Bethany Leger.
Raised as a Jehovah's Witness, Bethany shares her journey from questioning the organization to ultimately leaving alongside her husband. Together, they explore the emotional realities of shunning, the complexities of family estrangement, and what it means to rebuild a life after a high-control environment.
The conversation dives into Bethany's books, Physically and Mentally Out and her newest release, Burning Down the House, which examines toxic family dynamics, boundaries, conditional love, and healing after emotional control.
Topics include:
• Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses• The impact of shunning• Family estrangement• Toxic family systems• Setting healthy boundaries• Identity after high-control groups• Activism and recovery• Finding authenticity after trauma
Whether you're navigating religious trauma, family estrangement, or simply learning how to reclaim your voice, Bethany offers insight, honesty, and hope for the journey forward.
Connect with Bethany:YouTubeWebsite
Email
Instagram
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 

In this episode of cult.ture pod, Derek and Trent sit down with artist, writer, and former Jehovah’s Witness Sean Miller for a raw, grounded, and deeply human conversation about life after high‑control religion.
Sean grew up as a born‑in JW, the son of a respected elder, and followed the expected path of baptism at 16, auxiliary pioneering, regular pioneering, ministerial servant. But beneath the surface, he carried a creative drive that the organization repeatedly framed as selfish, dangerous, or worldly. As he puts it in the episode, “Go try to take a passion project and throw it into the creative industry when you’ve been taught you don’t even deserve kindness.”
Together, we explore:
What it’s like to rediscover your identity after leaving a high‑control group
How creativity becomes both a survival tool and a reclamation of self
The psychological cost of being an artist in a restrictive religious environment
The difference between “what the cult took” and “where we land afterward”
Why Sean finally finished his book Novice Enthusiasm — and how this podcast played a role
The strange, beautiful ways the universe nudges us forward
This conversation is honest, funny, grounded, and refreshingly free of bitterness. It’s about growth, not grievance  and about the creative life that becomes possible once you step outside the boundaries someone else drew for you.
If you’ve ever left a high‑control group, struggled with self‑worth, or tried to reclaim your creative voice, this episode will resonate.
 
Find Sean Here:
Website: www.seangregorymiller.com
Book: Novice Enthusiasm
Socials: Instagram
 
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 
 

Audrey joins Trent and Derek to share her experience growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness and what ultimately led her to leave in 2025.
In this episode, Audrey opens up about the emotional pressure of trying to live a “perfect” life inside the organization, the fear surrounding blood transfusions, purity culture, elder involvement in marriage and sexuality, conditional relationships, and the difficult process of rebuilding life outside the religion.
We also explore what it’s like waking up while married to a non-Witness, the emotional pull to return, navigating family dynamics, and learning how to trust yourself after years inside a high-control belief system.
Audrey’s story is raw, honest, emotional, and deeply human.
If you’ve ever questioned a system of control or struggled with rebuilding your identity after leaving one, this conversation may resonate with you.
 
Follow Audrey:TikTok: @audrey.breaks.free
Instagram: @_audrey_la_latinga_
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 

In this episode, we sit down with Lydia, a former Jehovah’s Witness who grew up in a fourth-generation family deeply rooted in the organization.
From a young age, Lydia was seen as “exemplary”, giving talks at assemblies, pioneering, and doing everything expected of her. But beneath the praise was something else: pressure, anxiety, and a growing disconnect from her own identity.
We explore what it’s like to grow up performing your worth, the subtle ways control shows up through approval, and how even “good” experiences can carry hidden weight.
Lydia shares her journey through waking up, navigating therapy, redefining identity, and processing moments that only later revealed themselves as harmful or inappropriate.
This conversation is about more than leaving a belief system.It’s about learning how to think, feel, and choose for yourself for the first time.
If you’ve ever questioned your identity, your worth, or the system you were raised in, this one will resonate.
 
Griswold Creative House
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 

Ryan, host of The Truth That Heals, joins us to share his story of growing up Catholic and eventually being pulled into a high-control religious group that claimed legitimacy within the Church.
What began as a calling rooted in faith turned into over a decade of control, fear, and psychological manipulation.
In this episode, we explore:
How spiritual language is used to recruit and control
The role of fear, guilt, and “divine calling”
What it’s like to live inside a constantly evolving belief system
The moment things started to crack
And what it takes to finally walk away
This is a conversation about identity, autonomy, and the courage to question what you were taught to never doubt.
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 
 
 
 

What happens when you choose yourself… and lose everything?
In this episode of cult.ture, Derek is joined by Jordan, a former Jehovah’s Witness who shares his journey of waking up and walking away from a high-control religious system.
Jordan opens up about:
Growing up in the Jehovah’s Witness organization
Struggling with identity and sexuality inside a restrictive belief system
The moment everything started to unravel
Being shunned by family
The emotional reality of “losing” people who are still alive
Finding healing, voice, and purpose through sharing his story
This conversation explores the deep psychological and emotional impact of leaving high-control groups and what it takes to rebuild your identity on your own terms.
If you’ve ever questioned your beliefs, felt the weight of conditional love, or are navigating life after a controlling environment, this episode is for you.
 
Video LINK discussed on pod
 
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 

In this episode of cult.ture, Derek and Trent sit down with Correen Hardin, author of Best Life After, to explore what life can look like after leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Correen shares her personal story of growing up inside the religion, the complex process of leaving, and the emotional and psychological realities that follow when someone steps outside a high-control belief system. The conversation explores identity, autonomy, relationships, and the long process of rebuilding a life after religious deconstruction.
Rather than focusing only on what people leave behind, this episode looks at what comes next, how people begin rediscovering themselves, creating new meaning, and finding their voice again.
This is a thoughtful and honest conversation about belief, identity, and the courage it takes to reclaim your life.
 
About Our Guest
Correen Hardin is the author of Best Life After, a book exploring the journey of rebuilding life after leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses.
📖 Best Life Afterhttps://bookshop.org/p/books/best-life-after-correen-r-hardin/2d356d53a1814687
🌐 Websitehttps://corismaly.com/about-the-autho/
📸 Instagramhttps://instagram.com/444corelyse888
🎵 TikTokhttps://tiktok.com/@444corelyse888
 
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 

On this episode of cult.ture pod we sit down with Katherine Spearing the author of A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts, founder of Tears of Eden, trauma recovery coach, and survivor of the Christian patriarchy movement.
Katherine grew up in a world where women were expected to move from the authority of their father to the authority of their husband. College wasn’t encouraged. Autonomy wasn’t modeled. And “God’s will” often ended the conversation before it began.
But abuse in high-control systems isn’t always loud.
Sometimes it’s subtle.Sometimes it’s polite.Sometimes it’s spiritual.
In this episode, we explore:
The “stay-at-home daughter” movement
Patriarchy as a control mechanism
Why you can’t argue with God in high-control religion
DARVO and the BITE model in action
The overlap between evangelicalism and cult dynamics
What healing actually looks like after religious trauma
Why living a thriving life may be the most powerful response
Katherine shares how thousands of small spiritual “paper cuts” can build into something life-threatening and how therapy, community, and autonomy helped her rebuild.
If you’ve ever questioned authority…If you were told obedience equals holiness…If your autonomy was framed as rebellion…
This conversation is for you.
 
Connect with Katherine Spearing:https://www.katherinespearing.comInstagramUncertain on SpotifyUncertain on Apple Podcasts
About the Book & Publisher:A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts published by Lake Drive BooksLake Drive Books on Instagram
Community Resource:Tears of Eden 
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.
 
 

In this episode, we sit down with McKenzie and Marcell childhood friends who grew up inside Jehovah’s Witnesses, lost each other to shunning, and eventually found their way back to one another after deconstructing.
Marcell shares what it was like growing up in poverty, finding “divine” love inside the organization, and fully believing it was the truth even while quietly believing he would die at Armageddon.
McKenzie opens up about being raised in a fully immersed family system, marrying young, navigating divorce under Watchtower policy, and the moment she realized she could never treat her own children the way she had been treated.
Together, they unpack:
• Love bombing and conditional community• Growing up believing you’re never “good enough• Shunning and rebuilding authentic friendship• Patriarchy and being treated like a pawn• COVID wake-ups & the Australian Royal Commission• The fear of Armageddon even when you’re “doing everything right
Now, on the other side, they’re building something new through Griswold House, a creative venture rooted in authenticity, agency, and chosen community.
Connect with them:
Website: https://griswoldhouse.com/Marcell / GriswoldGriswold Creative House (Business)McKenzie (TikTok)
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.

Stephanie spent most of her life carrying a fear she didn’t choose.
Raised as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, baptized at just fourteen, and taught from early childhood that the end of the world was “right around the corner,” Stephanie grew up measuring her life in countdowns: 1914, Armageddon, obedience, and survival.
Although she physically left the organization in 1998, the fear never left her.
It wasn’t until February 19, 2025, nearly three decades later, that something finally cracked. A single social media post. A forbidden word: apostate. And a question she’d never allowed herself to ask.
In this episode, Stephanie joins Derek and Trent to share what it’s like to wake up late to realize at fifty years old that your anxiety, your lost opportunities, and your constant guilt were rooted in false prophecy and high-control belief.
We talk about:
Growing up under the shadow of the 1914 doctrine
Being baptized as a minor and the weight of “spiritual contracts”
Living physically out but mentally trapped for decades
Fear-based obedience and the cost of delayed awakening
Grief for a stolen childhood and the courage to reclaim what’s left
This conversation is about what fear does to a human beings and what happens when it finally loosens its grip.
If you’ve ever felt like it’s “too late” to wake up, this episode is for you.
 
Support cult.ture pod over on Patreon
Follow us on Instagram and thanks for rating us 5 stars 🫶
 
 
Disclaimer:The views and experiences shared on cult.ture are personal and based on the lived experiences of the hosts and guests. This podcast is not intended to attack or defame any individual or religious organization or provide therapy.
Our aim is to foster honest, empathetic conversations about high-control environments, belief systems, and personal journeys including the long road of healing, questioning, and reclaiming identity.
Please be advised that some episodes may contain content that touches on religious trauma, coercive control, emotional or physical abuse, or other potentially triggering topics. We strive to approach these conversations with care, but we acknowledge that certain themes may be difficult to hear.
Listener discretion is advised.
If you or someone you know is experiencing distress related to these topics, we encourage seeking support from qualified mental health professionals, spiritual trauma-informed therapists, or trusted recovery communities.
You are not alone.